


How Les Amis Saved Christmas

by Neelh



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Canada, F/M, M/M, Santa is Real, Santa is also Jean Valjean, everyone is canadian, everyone's just in that state of first liking and it's adorable, i haven't written in six months, ships are very small and barely there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 12:36:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2851037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neelh/pseuds/Neelh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cosette is related to Jehan and Santa Claus. Les Amis make a field trip out of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Les Amis Saved Christmas

It was Christmas Eve, and the house rented by the group known as Les Amis de l'ABC was silent, if the snores of various members were ignored.

Marius Pontmercy was not a particularly light sleeper. In fact, he snored, drooled and was normally incapable of not being asleep between the hours of nine thirty at night and six in the morning. However, this night being Christmas Eve, Marius Pontmercy was sleeping relatively lightly from his many attempts at trying to see Santa deliver his presents.

This Christmas Eve, he would be surprised by a girl appearing in his room. She had chestnut hair with golden streaks blazing through the locks, light brown skin and a soft-looking face that made her look slightly younger than what her figure would suggest. She wore a long white dress with lace sleeves and a red sash around her waist, where a few bells jingled softly. There was a spring of holly tucked into her loose hair and a strong scent of roses and peppermint accompanied her into the room.

The girl peered down at the handsome face of Marius Pontmercy and said, in a voice that sounded like birdsong and bells, "Oh dear."

It was at that precise moment where Marius Pontmercy, having been stirred into a semblance of consciousness by the strong scent of the girl, opened his eyes.

"Oh my gosh, Santa is hot."

He suddenly covered his mouth upon realising what he said.

"Oh my gosh, please don't think- I mean, you're gorgeous- I'm so sorry, Miss. Are you Santa?"

The girl laughed, and even that sounded like a bell. "No, I am not Santa. I am his granddaughter, though, and I'm looking for my brother, Jehan Prouvaire. Does he live here?"

Marius Pontmercy blinked. He did not move for several minutes. He finally turned over onto his stomach and tried to go back to sleep.

"Do you think that you're dreaming?" the girl asked. "I wouldn't be surprised. Grantaire and Courfeyrac had similar reactions."

Marius tried to bury himself further into his pillow. It was fluffy and warm but the peppermint smell was still there.

"I need to see them," he said, before getting out of bed, fumbling into his dressing gown and slippers and exiting his room, before he forgot to open Courfeyrac, Combeferre and Enjolras's bedroom door. At that point, he yelped like a puppy.

-

Enjolras couldn't believe it. He could not fucking believe it. Some minty smelling girl in a nightdress came into Pontmercy's room and told him that she and Jehan were a couple of generations away from being Santa Claus. He would have shoved Pontmercy in his stupid puppy-dog face and told him to go back to sleep if Minty Nightie Girl hadn't shown up, literally with bells on bcause they were tied to her elfy slippers.

He wanted to go back to sleep. However, everyone had congregated on his bed.

"So, you're actually descended from Father Christmas?" Combeferre asked, as enthusiastic as he always was when he was learning something new. Unfortunately, he was closest to Enjolras and was seriously preventing any chance of a restful night.

"Yes, and Jehan is my brother!" trilled Minty Nightie Girl in her annoyingly happy-go-lucky voice.

"I don't see much genetic resemblance," Enjolras growled. Why couldn't they all bugger off and sing bloody carols to a bunch of reindeer in Iceland?

Minty Nightie Girl raised an eyebrow. They were striped with the colours in her hair. Enjolras was disliking her more every second. "I live in the North Pole, am descended from Santa and you're worrying about genetics?"

He couldn't deal with this. Enjolras buried himself under the duvet and tried to block out all noise.

Despite his efforts, he still couldn't block out Courfeyrac's statement of, "He likes to pretend it's a phoenix, but really, if Enjolras was a wizard, his Patronus would be a burrowing owl. They're both so tiny and cute!"

"I'm not cute," Enjolras muttered. "And you're shorter than me."

"We should probably wake everyone up," Courfeyrac said, bouncing on the mattress, which would have been a better experience if the portion of mattress that he was bouncing on was not also home to Enjolras's thigh.

Enjolras couldn't pretend that he was asleep anymore as he yelled, "We are _not_ waking anyone up!"

This, predictably, would wake everyone up.

Enjolras tried not to swear aloud as, one by one, Eponine, Bossuet, Joly, Grantaire and Jehan paraded into the room.

"Cosette!" Jehan beamed, running into Minty Nightie Girl's arms.

"Jehan!" Minty Nightie Girl beamed, running into Jehan's arms.

_Crap_ , thought Enjolras, as he wished that he'd never woken up at all.

-

"Let me get this straight," Combeferre said. "Santa has injured himself, so we're all going to help sort out the presents."

"Well," said Jehan, tucking a lock of his lurid green hair behind his ear, "it was just going to be me and Cosette-"

"Cosette and I," muttered Combeferre.

"-But Courfeyrac, Grantaire, Joly, Bossuet and Marius are begging to come along," finished Jehan. "I thought we could make an outing out of this."

"I don't want to come," Enjolras groaned.

"You're coming," Combeferre said sharply.

Enjolras's bottom lip wobbled. Combeferre stared at him with a gaze that could break even the strongest man. But Enjolras was determined. He refused to go on a sleigh ride around the world. He matched Combeferre's steely gaze, before cracking.

"Fine! But I want to get dressed first!"

When Enjolras had gotten completely dressed in his normal skinny jeans and the closest he would ever get to a festive jumper - a red turtleneck - he had to convince Grantaire to wear more than a pair of Christmassy boxers that declared, in lurid green writing, _'Deck the balls'_. Courfeyrac was already pulling his most ridiculous Christmas jumper on over his pinstriped pyjamas that made him look like he was peppermint flavoured. It took what felt like hours for everyone to get bundled up warm enough to leave the house, with Bossuet complaining about the seventeen hats that Joly forced upon him. When Minty Nightie Girl Cosette had pointed out that heat, or lack thereof, wasn't an issue, Bossuet had persuaded Joly to maybe allow him to remove some hats for convenience and manoeuvrability. After even more time, Bossuet was left with two hats, and the other hats were being distributed amongst the rest of the group.

"Come on, Enj!" grinned Grantaire. Enjolras wasn't sure if he had really smelly breath from being asleep or drinking. Frankly, Drunk Grantaire was pretty much the same as Christmas Grantaire, but Christmas Grantaire had less regard for Enjolras's personal space and feelings. Which is probably why Grantaire had pushed a bright red bobble hat over Enjolras's perfect golden curls.

He just really liked his hair.

And Grantaire fucking ruined it.

He scowled heavily as Cosette chirped, "Are we all ready?"

There was a chorus of affirmative answers, all enthusiastic. Enjolras let his face speak for itself.

"Well, off we go then!"

This was not what Enjolras intended his face to communicate.

-

They disappeared in a puff of smoke and reappeared on a sleigh. Joly was struck by a sneezing fit while Enjolras watched impassively.

Combeferre leaned over to Cosette, who was sitting in the front of the sleigh.

"So, how does this hold us all and the presents?" he asked. "I've always wondered about the physics aspects of it."

Cosette smiled. "Well, we ignore physics for the most part. We generate more space when necessary, but it spends most of the year being small enough for two people."

Combeferre's mouth hung open as though all of his preconceptions of existence had been shattered. Which, well, they had. "But this is the size of a small bungalow!" he exclaimed.

Cosette looked around. "No, it's a medium sized one at least."

Enjolras made an attempt to count the amount of fucks he gave before giving up, for there were none. He was frankly more concerned about the fact that Grantaire had his head on Enjolras's crotch.

"Please just let me go back to sleep," he muttered to himself.

"What was that?" Grantaire mumbled.

Enjolras shifted uncomfortably. "Do you know where you are?"

"In a sleigh, on a roof," the black-haired man replied. "There should be eight reindeer at the front. Probably, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donder and Blixem."

"Who the hell are the last two?" spluttered Enjolras. "Also, there are nine."

"Well, the one at the front would be Rudolph then. And they're reindeer. What else would they be?"

Enjolras sighed. "Grantaire, you are missing the point. Your head is in my lap."

"Oh. _Oh_. Sorry."

Grantaire sat upright, his skin flushing even darker than usual. There was the sound of snickering in the seats behind them, and both Enjolras and Grantaire shot a death glare at Joly, Bossuet, Éponine, and Courfeyrac.

"I'll swap this one for Courfeyrac," Enjolras said, poking Grantaire.

Courfeyrac pouted. "I'm comfy here. Choose someone else."

"But everyone else makes sex jokes! You don't make them around me because you know it makes me feel uncomfortable!"

Cosette looked behind them as she took the reins of the sleigh. "You really shouldn't feel uncomfortable. The seats of this sleigh are designed to feel different to everyone in order to make them as comfy and cosy as possible."

Enjolras blinked.

"Don't worry about him," Combeferre said, patting Cosette's hand. "He hates people and being made to leave his bed at any time before six in the morning."

Enjolras noticed Pontmercy scowl at Combeferre's hand, which he still hadn't removed from Cosette's. That boy was more trouble than he was worth. At least he wasn't straight.

-

Enjolras quickly found out that he got airsick.

"Fucking shit, Enj, if I'd have known you'd be like this I'd have made festive origami vomit bags out of wrapping paper," sighed Grantaire.

"But since you haven't, there's going to be some peope coming home from the bar who think they've been attacked by a very sick pigeon," Éponine added. "Which they have, I suppose."

Enjolras tried to sigh, though instantly dry heaved over the side of the sleigh.

Courfeyrac nodded appreciatively. "He's a lovely festive green to go with that red jumper."

"I will castrate you with a rusty spoon," Enjolras grumbled.

"That's not very festive," pouted Courfeyrac. "Try again."

"I will suffocate you in the present sack," amended Enjolras.

"You can't," Cosette said, looking over at them. "It's a transdimensional portal."

Combeferre stared at her. "Why have you not shared this technology with the rest of the world?"

Cosette raised her eyebrow, which was slightly more perfect than the other one and probably designed especially for raising in a wonderfully striped arch, and said, "Because it's magic, stupid."

Enjolras couldn't help but stifle a giggle as Combeferre's mouth fell open, completely gobsmacked. He heard Grantaire laugh heartily with his rough voice and grinned.

Oh crap, he was feeling slightly Christmassy.

At the next house that they landed at, Bossuet clambered over the sleigh benches, resulting in his performing a small, accidental somersault. "Can we come and help with the presents?"

Cosette nodded. "Only two at a time, though."

Joly volunteered immediately. He still seemed slightly anxious, though. Enjolras decided that Cosette was being really stupid.

"Look after Prancer," Cosette said to Jehan. "He's being a prat this year."

"Did you grate the carrots and chop them up before you gave them to him?" Jehan said.

Cosette frowned, her brows furrowing. "Was I supposed to?"

"Yeah," Jehan said. "He's a fussy eater."

Enjolras really didn't want to think about what would happen if Bossuet was allowed anywhere near a Christmas tree that didn't belong to him or a stocking near a child's bed. There would probably be burglar alarms or something set off, especially since they had left the cold chill of Quebec and were now somewhere in southern Europe.

"Jehan, where exactly are we?" Enjolras asked.

"Greece," he replied, stroking Prancer tenderly. He immediately went back to cooing sweet reindeer words and Enjolras gave up.

Grantaire's face was lit up. Enjolras stared at him, until the dark-haired man breathed, " _Greece_."

"Land of ancient misogyny, child screwing and homophobia," muttered Enjolras.

Grantaire glared at him. "I'm not in the mood to be discussing your hatred of ancient cultures."

Enjolras rolled his eyes and waited.

Finally, Cosette emerged from the chimney with Bossuet and Joly. The latter had fir leaves in his hair.

"This was a bad idea," said Joly decisively.

"Me next!" Courfeyrac and Éponine shouted together.

-

It took what felt like hours, despite the fact that it was five minutes to midnight. The chilly air brushed against Enjolras's face, though it didn't chill him to the bone. They were flying somewhere over England, as Enjolras could see lots of fields and churches.

"I fucking love Christmas," Courfeyrac sighed, lying in Joly and Éponine's laps.

"Enjolras hasn't delivered any presents yet," Éponine piped up.

"Fuck off," said blonde groaned, hiding his face in his turtleneck. "I refuse to put presents under the tree."

Jehan glared at him as they flew through a cloud. "You're going to do it."

Jehan's eyes were a very sharp green: a lot brighter than his hair. They were the same colour as limes and glowed about as much as Rudolph's nose. Enjolras gulped.

"I'll do it!" he exclaimed, shuffling to the other side of the sleigh.

Grantaire grinned. "I'll go with you."

Enjolras groaned, but couldn't find any reason whatsoever to disagree.

Eventually, they landed on a roof with a very small chimney. Enjolras stared at the tiny pipe sticking out through the tiles, gulping rapidly. Grantaire lifted him in his arms and carried him out of the sleigh. Jehan hopped out and began to rub the rim of the chimney, making it open wider and wider.

"Holy fuck," Enjolras sighed.

When the chimney had reached about fifty centimetres in diameter, Grantaire lifted Enjolras up by his armpits and dropped him down the chimney. Enjolras was struck silent y this and did not make a sound of protest as he was slid down the chimney.

He rolled out of the fireplace and into the living room, covered in dust and soot. Grantaire followed, looking slightly less dirty, and after him, Jehan came down, as pristine as a fresh flower. With a flick of Jehan's wrist, Enjolras was completely clean.

As Enjolras stared down at himself in surprise, Jehan retrieved the sack from the fireplace and took several small presents from it.

"I thought there was only meant to be one present per stocking, and there are only two kids in this house," Grantaire said, staring at the armful of gifts that Jehan was clutching.

He shook his green-haired head and sighed. "The girl is obsessed with Christmas. She has so many stockings, I'm kind of scared. She could free every single Dobby with her Christmas decorations."

"So," Grantaire continued, "Under the tree job?"

Jehan nodded. "Large ones at the back."

As Jehan skipped upstairs, his slippered feet making only the slightest of noises, Grantaire and Enjolras got to work. They began a conveyor belt-esque chain of sacks and gfts and trees, with Enjolras being closest to the tree due to his light, slim frame. Sometimes, Grantaire would juggle presents before throwing them to Enjolras, who yelled and hit Grantaire with a Santa hat that was left lying on the floor.

"They didn't leave cookies," Grantaire growled when they finished. "Bastards."

"Go to the kitchen and nick some," Enjolras muttered.

Grantaire looked at him with an indiscernible expression. "That is a very good idea," he said. "Let's raid the cupboards."

It didn't feel very Christmassy. It felt more like breaking and entering. It _was_ breaking and entering, but with magic, so they couldn't be told off because it was Christmas, and at Christmas you tell the truth and do magic, thought Enjolras. The biscuit tin was located and a single shortbread was taken each.

"Sweet baby Jesus," Grantaire said through a mouthful of melting British biscuit, "This is delicious."

Enjolras choked his down. "I think I'm going to sneeze."

They both waited for half a minute before Grantaire said, "The feeling when you need to sneeze but can't?" to Enjolras, who nodded.

They began to leave the kitchen when Grantaire looked up.

"Mistletoe."

Enjolras stared at him, before aiming and landing a peck on his lips. He ran back to the fireplace, blushing furiously and leaving Grantaire standing under the mistletoe, his mouth hanging open.

-

"Let's hold hands," Enjolras said, as they satin the sleigh, waiting to return home. They had just been to the North Pole and genuinely met Santa. They also discovered that old men were very difficult to seat several adults on, unlike sleighs.

Grantaire looked at him, a shy smile playing on his lips. "Are you sure?"

Enjolras answered by entwining their fingers together and blushing faintly.

Suddenly, Courfeyrac shouted from the back, "Shit! We forgot Feuilly and Bahorel!"

-

Marius woke up the next morning with the feeling that he had just been snogged senseless by a gorgeous girl in at least eight strangers' houses. Of course, that could never happen, since the last time a girl had kissed him was before he was ten during a game of kiss-chase.

He awoke to the scent of roses and peppermint, and something fluffy in his face. Cracking his eyes open, he saw brown curls with gold streaks.

"Merry Christmas!" the person that the curls were connected to sang in a voice that sounded like bells.

"Oh my gosh," Marius breathed.

There was a sudden loud sneeze from Enjolras's bedroom, followed by a loud cheer from Grantaire's.


End file.
